Late Again

A kid was late for school one day. "I had to take the bull down to mate with the heifer," he explained to the teacher. "Couldn't your father have done that?" "Sure, but the bull would have done a better job."

Geek Date

Q: Why do Geeks have complex relationships?
A: Because they're real, but their girlfriend is imaginary.

New Hampshire Crazy Law

• It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
• It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name.
• Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces.
• You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
• You may not run machinery on Sundays.
• You may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
• On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.
• If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ''maintaining the national forest without a permit''.