The New Motorcycle

A man buys a new motorcycle. The salesperson tells him that when it rains to go outside and rub Vaseline on it because it protects it while also making it nice and shiny. Later that night, he goes to eat at his girlfriend's house, and the rule at their house is if you talk during supper you have to do the dishes. So they are eating and he looks at his girlfriend and kisses her. Nobody says anything, and he fucks her right at the table and nobody says anything. He looks over at her mom and kisses her too. Nobody says anything, so he does her too. Next thing he knows he looks outside and it is starts to rain outside, so he grabs the Vaseline out of his pocket. At that his girlfriend's dad stands up and says, ''Okay. I will do the damn dishes.''

Some Whimsical Sayings

• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
• There 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
• Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
• Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
• Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
• A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
• For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
• I can see clearly now, the brain is gone...
• The beatings will continue until morale improves.
• I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
• Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
• Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
• Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
• There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
• I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
• Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
• A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
• I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
• Don't be so open-minded your brains will fall out.
• If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
• Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
• Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
• If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
• If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
• If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
• It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
• Help Wanted: Telepathy. You know where to apply.
• Look out for #1. Don't step in #2 either.
• Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
• Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
• Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
• Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
• Dain bramaged.
• Department of Redundancy Department
• What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
• My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWLC:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN<-------- The information went data way -------->Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
• The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
• BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
• The name is Baud...... James Baud.
• Access denied--nah nah na na

Still Be Stupid

Insult: If you were any dumber, your head would implode.
Response: If you were a little bit more intelligent you'd still be stupid.