Signs and Notices 02

These are supposedly actual signs that have been found in and around parts of England.
Seen at the side of a Sussex road: SLOW CATTLE CROSSING. NO OVERTAKING FOR THE NEXT 100 YRS.
Outside a disco: SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME.
Sign warning of quicksand: QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.
Notice sent to residents of a Whiltshire parish: DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER.
Notice in a dry cleaner's window: ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF.
Sign on motorway garage: PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS. YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS.
Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS.

More Signs and Notices

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign on an asphalt truck: "Let us fill your crack!"
Office sign: "Ace exterminating - we kill bugs dead, walk-ins welcome."
Sign at a muffler shop: "No muff too tough for us!"
Sign on a government issue car: "Fulton county disaster coordinator."
Sign in a Tokyo Hotel: "Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notice".
Sign seen on an electricity pylon: DANGER! "To touch these wires will result in instant death. Anyone found doing so will be severely prosecuted."
Sign in a Japanese Hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
Sign in a Leipzig elevator: "Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up."

Signs and Notices 17

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

• An ad on the subway in NYC: "Learn to read and speak English. Call us now."
• An Amelia Island, FL, podiatrist: "Emergency Foot Surgery- Walk-ins Welcomed."
• Sign over a restroom in a restaurant: "Used beer department."
• On a store front in Florida: "Your one stop shop! Beer ammo and liquor. Drive through open 24 hours!"
• A speed limit sign on Long Beach Island, New Jersey: "Smile, You're on Radar!"
• Seen in a State Park in California: "Weather Station (A large sign with a Rock hanging on a rope) Check the Rock. If it's wet, it's raining. If it's moving, it's windy. If you can't see it, it's foggy. If rock is gone, it's a tornado."