More Signs and Notices

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign on an asphalt truck: "Let us fill your crack!"
Office sign: "Ace exterminating - we kill bugs dead, walk-ins welcome."
Sign at a muffler shop: "No muff too tough for us!"
Sign on a government issue car: "Fulton county disaster coordinator."
Sign in a Tokyo Hotel: "Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notice".
Sign seen on an electricity pylon: DANGER! "To touch these wires will result in instant death. Anyone found doing so will be severely prosecuted."
Sign in a Japanese Hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
Sign in a Leipzig elevator: "Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up."

Signs and Notices

These are supposedly actual signs that have been found in and around parts of England.
Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
Sign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
Sign at Norfolk farm gate: BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST LEFT
Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR
Outside a photographer's studio: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO
Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Podiatrist

Sign in a podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."