Case of The Missing Brain

In Ohio, an unidentified man in his late twenties walked into a police station with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead and calmly asked officers to give him an X-ray to help him find his brain, which he claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that the man had drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with a Black & Decker power drill and had stuck the wire in to try and find the missing brain.

Newfoundland Fisherman Burial

This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed and summons his 3 sons to his bedside. "Well boys, the time is near, and when I pass I'd like to be buried at sea." So the boys agreed. A few days after his passing, the local front page read, "Local Fishermen Were Shocked Today When Their Nets Brought in Patrick McRay in a Coffin, 3 Shovels and the Bodies of His Three Sons... Funeral arrangements haven't yet been made, however, it is believed all wished to be buried at sea."

Real News Headlines

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years.
Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man.
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy.
Autos Killing 110 a Day--Let's Resolve to Do Better.
20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar War Dims Hope For Peace.
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While.
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures.
Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation.
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years.