Actual News Headlines

Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Air Head Fired
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Deer Kill 17,000
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
War Dims Hope for Peace 

Normal Traffic Stop

Sunday, December 13, 1992 After police pulled over Kevin Temple, 35, in a routine traffic stop in Bronson, Fla., a police dog sniffing the trunk became agitated. In the trunk and back seat, officers found the following live animals: 48 rattlesnakes, a Gila monster, 45 non-poisonous snakes, 67 scorpions, several tarantulas and small lizards, and a parrot. Temple said they were just pets.

Real Advertisements - 2

Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country.

• Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
• A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
• For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
• Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
• Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. 
• Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.