Fortune Cookie Mistake

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
On Saturday last, I had dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. My fortune read: "You will gain admiration from your pears." Comice? Bartlett? Canned? I don't grow or eat them, anyway.

Stupidity

Bellevue, WA
On Saturday, police broke up a disturbance between a couple arguing over which one was drunker. Both were arrested and taken to Overlake Hospital for treatment of injuries to their heads. The police are charging them with disorderly conduct and disturbing the peace, but not assault. They each injured themselves and not the other. It seems, according to police and witnesses, that the couple were taking turns bashing their heads into the drywall walls and the wooden door of their apartment in order to prove they were so drunk that they couldn't feel the pain.

Create a Hallmark Moment!

Greeting cards are getting expensive, so why not design your very own Hallmark Moment with some these sayings:

• "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind."
• "I must admit, you brought religion into my life. I never believed in Hell till I met you."
• "Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What the heck was I thinking?"
• "If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."
• "As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy..."
• "Thanks for being a part of my life! I never new what evil was before this!"
• "Money is tight, times are hard, here's your @#$/& Christmas card!!!"
• "Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, I would like you to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."
• "Sorry things didn't work out, but I can't handle guys with breasts that are bigger than mine."
• "When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
• "The holidays are a great time to be with family. Of course, your family won't be with you, since I'm taking the kids and moving in with my sister, you cheating bastard!"