Crunchy Lunch

Q: What do snowmen eat for lunch?
A: Icebergers!

Truck Driver

A trucker stopped at a local Denny's restaurant and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards." The new blonde waitress didn't want to appear stupid so she went to the kitchen and asked the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is... an auto parts store?" "No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is  for two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are two slices of crisp bacon." It's a special trucker version of our 'Grand Slam Breakfast'. "Oh, Okay." said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer. The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?" She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!!"

Player's Diet

Manager: I thought I told you to lose weight. What happened to your three week diet?
Player: I finished it in three days!