Cucumber & Pickle

A cucumber and a pickle were having a conversation. The pickle said to the cucumber, "I got it bad man, every time I get big, fat and juicy I get seasoned and put in a jar." The cucumber said to the pickle, "Well every time I get big, fat and juicy I get chopped up and out over salad." The penis walks by and overhears them and says, "I got it worse than you both. When I get big, fat and juicy I get put in a dark, smelly room and they make me do push-ups till I throw up."

School Dinners Come On A Plate

Q: What is the difference between school dinners and a pile of slugs?
A: School dinners come on a plate!

Atoms in Guacomole

Q: How many atoms in a guacamole?
A: Avocado's number.