Cannibal Compliment

Two cannibals are eating dinner. One says to the other, "Gosh, Bill, your wife makes a great meal."

Onion Balls

While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man's balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decides to replace the missing ball with an onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup."How's your sex life?" the doctor asked.  "Pretty good," the man said, to the doctor's relief. But then he added, "I've had some strange side effects."  "What's that?", the doctor asked anxiously.  "Well, every time I piss, my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job, she gets heartburn. And every time I pass a hamburger stand, I get a hard-on!"

Dinosaur Booty Call - Herbivore

Just because you're a plant-eater doesn't mean you shouldn't try Tyrannosaurus Sex.