Lord's Prayer Deal

The pope was weighting in line at Mc Donald's for lunch. When the manager came out to have a word. The manager told the pope that McDonald's would give 5 Million dollars to the church if he some how changed the Lord's prayer to give us today our daily hamburger instead of give us today our daily bread. The pope thought for a moment then said sorry I really can't. The manager then said, "Okay how about 40 million?" The pope said, "Okay well I'll talk to my top Cardinal about it." So the pope goes and sees the Cardinal and says, "I've got some good news and some bad news." The Cardinal says well lets hear the good news first. The Pope then says, "I can get the us 40 million dollars to put a church were ever they want." "The bad news is we are going to have to break the deal with Brumbies."

Mix it up

Q: What do get if you mix a key with a lime and multiply it by 22/7?
A: A close approximation for Key Lime Pi!  

Price for Food

Three drifters are roaming the countryside for some time. They come upon a small farmhouse with crops planted around it. They are very hungry, thirsty, and tired so the first guy suggests they steal some food. The second says they should ask for food, so he then goes up and knocks on the door and an old, ugly lady answers. He asks for food and she agrees - but only under one condition. They must have sex with her. The first drifter says no, the lady is too ugly, and goes back into the woods. The third guy is very hungry and agrees. He enters the cottage and goes into a corner near a pile of corn to transact his business with the old lady. The old lady is ready, but the guy says he'll only do it if she's blindfolded. So she puts on a blindfold and bends over. Quickly the guy grabs an ear of corn and sticks it inside the old lady, then throws it out the window. The woman says, "Again," and the man does the same thing. Satisfied, she gives the man some food and he leaves. As he is walking out of the farmhouse, he comes upon the other two guys. "Guess what?" the first guy says, "while you screwed that old hag we found two ears of cream corn!"