I Screwed Your Mom

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him, ''I screwed your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him. Again, he hears, ''Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it. The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says, ''Dad, go home, you're drunk!''

Typical Jewish Mother

My mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was on jury duty... They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.

Sent From Heaven

A woman brought her 4-month-old baby to visit her neighbor. The baby began to fuss soon after they arrived. Roger, the 5-year-old son of the neighbor she visited said, "Where did you get this little baby from?" "He was sent from Heaven," the mother replied. As the infant continued to cry and yell, the little boy said, "I bet I know why he was sent from Heaven. God wanted it quiet up there!"