Restroom

Baby Jim: Mommy, does God use our toilet?
Mom: No Jim, what made you ask?
Baby: Every morning, Daddy goes up to the toilet and says: "Oh God! Are you still in there!

I Screwed Your Mom

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him, ''I screwed your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him. Again, he hears, ''Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it. The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says, ''Dad, go home, you're drunk!''

Typical Jewish Mother

My mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was on jury duty... They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.