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Jokes about Families - Man Criticizes Woman
The Mistress
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she'll see him later, and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that?!" "Oh" replies the husband, "that was my mistress." "That's it," says the wife, "I want a divorce." "Ok," replies her husband, "but remember, if you get a divorce there will be no more shopping trips to Paris, no wintering in the Caribbean, no Lexus in the garage, and no more country club. But, the decision is yours." Just then the wife notices a mutual friend entering the restaurant with a gorgeous woman. "Who is that woman with Jim?" she asks. "That's his mistress," replies her husband. "Ours is much better looking." says the wife.
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Don't Take Chances
A man receives a letter informing him about his mother-in-law's death. It also asks whether she should be buried or burnt. He replies, "Don't take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes."
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Close Your Eyes
Q: Why does a woman close her eyes when she's having sex ?
A: Because no woman ever wants to see a man enjoying himself!
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