Texan, Russian, New Yorker Out to Eat

A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in London. "Excuse me, but if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease," says the waiter. The Texan says, "What's a shortage?" The Russian says, "What's a steak?" The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"

Newfoundland and Nova Scotia

Q: Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia?
A: The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.

Don't Cut

An American has sex with a Soviet woman and catches a strange venereal disease causing a green ring around the base of the penis. The American goes to a doctor who says he's never seen anything like it, but his penis would probably have to be amputated. Wanting another opinion, he then goes to another doctor, who also doesn't know anything about this decease, but agrees that amputation is indicated.
Deeply distressed, the patient decided to go to a Soviet doctor, figuring he may be familiar with this strange form of venereal disease.  Indeed, the Soviet doctor says, "I know this decease! Your American doctors always want to cut. Don't do anything. Two week later, prick fall off by himself!"