Mexican Hypnotist

A Mexican is being hypnotized by a stage magician in his home town. “You’re in the desert,” says the magician. “It’s really hot and you want a drink.” The Mexican starts panting and licking his lips. “Now you’re at the North Pole,” says the magician. “It’s really, really cold .” The Mexican starts to shiver. “Now you’re in the United States,” says the magician. “You have a good job, a nice house, healthcare…” The Mexican opens one eye and says, “If you wake me up I’ll break your arms.”

The Right Way

A Mexican couple in their late teens come to a doctor's office and say: "Doctor, we would like to know if we are screwing properly. Will you watch us, please?" The doctor, somewhat puzzled, agrees, they climb on his table, the boy gets on top of the girl, and they have sex. After observing them, the doctor says, "Yes, you're having sex properly. That will be forty dollars." They come back the next day with the same request, but this time the boy enters the girl from the rear. They keep coming for four days in a row, using different positions every day. On the fifth visit the doctor says, "Why do you keep on coming back? I told you you're having sex properly." The boy explains, "The hotel room costs the same forty dollars, but this way we get reimbursed by Medicaid."

Mexican Eyes

Q: What do you call a Mexican with three eyes?
A: Ay, ay, ay!