Who Invented Sex

A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture. The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon" The Italian says, "We have the Colosseum" The Greek says "We had great Mathematicians" The Italian says "We had the Roman Empire"... and so on and so on and then the Greek says: "We invented sex" The Italian says "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women."

Mothers

Q: What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?
A: An Italian mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill you." A Jewish mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill myself."

Giuseppi Knows All?

Giuseppi walks into work, and he says, "Ey, Tony! You know who's-a George Washington?" Tony says, "No, Giuseppi, who's-a George Washington?" He says, "Hah! George-a Washington's the first-a President of-a United States. I'm-a go to night school, learn all about-a United States, and become-a U.S.-a citizen." A couple of days later, Giuseppi walks into work and says. "Ey, Tony, you know who's-a Abraham Lincoln?" Tony says, "No, Giuseppi, who's-a Abraham Lincoln?" He says, "Hah! Abraham-a Lincoln is-a sixteenth President of-a the United States. I'm-a go to night school, learn all about-a United States, and become-a U.S.-a citizen." A guy in the back of the shop yells, "Yo, Giuseppi . . . you know who Fishlips Lorenzo is?" He says, "No. Who's-a Fishlips Lorenzo is?" The guy yells, "That's the guy who's bangin' your wife while you're in night school."