French Tanks

Q: Why do french tanks have rear view mirrors?
A: To see the battle.

French Snails

Q: Why do french people eat snails ?
A: They don't like fast food.

What it Means to be French

Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.
You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
If there's a war you can surrender really early.
You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
You can be ugly and still become a famous film star..
Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
People think you're a great lover even when you're not.