Answering Machine - French Monologue

French monologue in the background: Around the world today, millions still speak French as either a first or second language. But with your continued support and help, we can wipe out French in our lifetime. Please leave a message in English at the tone, and remember, if someone tries to speak French to you, just say, "non". 

Menu Item Translations

The following are items found overseas in which people have made inappropriate use of English words for various products, and bizarre menu items in restaurants.

• Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China
• Indonesian Nazi Goreng - Hong Kong
• Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos - Cairo
• French fried ships - Cairo
• Garlic Coffee - Europe
• Sole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style) - Europe
• Boiled Frogfish - Europe
• Sweat from the trolley - Europe
• Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China
• Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong
• Roasted duck let loose - Poland
• Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion - Poland
• Fried friendship - Nepal
• Strawberry crap - Japan
• Pork with fresh garbage - Vietnam
• Toes with butter and jam - Bali
• French Creeps - L.A.
• Fried fishermen - Japan
• Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan
• Pepelea's Meat Balls - Romania
• Product Names Clean Finger Nail - Chinese
• Japanese mineral water Creap Creamy Powder - Japan
• Coffee Creamer Swine - China
• Chocolates Libido - China
• Soda Pocari Sweat - Japan
• Sport drink Shocking - Japan
• Chewing gum Cat Wetty - Japan
• Moistened hand towels Pipi - Yugoslavia
• Orangeade Polio - Czechoslovakia
• Laundry detergent Crundy - Japan
• Gourmet candy Superglans - Netherlands
• Car wax I'm Dripper - Japan
• Instant coffee Zit - Greece
• Soft drink Colon Plus - Spain

Over Easy

My French girlfriend asked me if I wanted her to make me breakfast.
I said "No thanks, I've had an oeuf"