One Way to Learn English

Mullah Nasrudin, wisest man in Islam, entered England for a visit. "Do you have anything to declare?" asked the customs inspector. "No -- sssssst, bzzz - nothing at all." "How long do you plan to stay?" "Oh, about -- ssssssssszzzzt, bzzz -- about three weeks." "By the way, where did you learn English?" "From the -- bzzz, bzzz, sszzzzzzzzbzzz -- radio."

Paddy and the Cop

Paddy was driving home, drunk as a skunk, suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.   A cop car pulls him over as he veers about all over the road. Paddy tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
The cop says "For gods sake Paddy, that's your air freshener swinging about!"

The Last Laugh

Several years ago, after having Japanese executives from the automotive industry tour a Ford Plant, they held a press conference in which one of the Japanese execs claimed that the American workers were slow and lazy. Not long after, a friend sent me a picture of a bumper sticker on a truck at the Ford plant. It read - "We may be slow and lazy, but we build a damn good bomb!"