Italian Virgin Newlyweds

Two Italian virgins marry and go on their honeymoon. Unfortunately, neither knows what to do when they get there. The newlyweds call the groom's mother for advice. The mother says that they should sit on the bed together, snuggle, and things should happen from there. The newlyweds do this, but nothing happens. The groom calls his mother back. She says they should take their clothes off, get under the covers, and nature should take its course. The bride and groom take his mother's advice, but still nothing comes to mind. He calls his mother a third time. Getting frustrated with the situation, she says, "Listen, just take the biggest thing you have and stick it in her hairiest spot!" The groom is quiet for a moment and then asks his mother, "I've got my nose in her armpit -- now what?"

Golf Clubs

There was a business woman who just made a million dollars for an Arabian Oil Sheik. When she was leaving, the Oil Sheik offered her Diamonds and rubies and a Silver-plated Rolls Royce, but she declined. The Sheik insisted so she said that she just started to golf and maybe a set of golf clubs would be nice. A few weeks later she received a telegram from the sheik.“So far I have bought you 3 golf clubs. I hope you aren't disappointed that only 2 of them have swimming pools."

Irish Women's Mates

Three Irish women were discussing their respective mates over tea. "I call my man 'Eight,' " said the first woman, "Because he's got eight inches, and we do it eight times a day." The second woman said in response, "I call my man 'Ten' because his dong is ten inches long, and we do it ten times every night. "The first woman then asked the third woman "What do you call your man?" She answered " 'Creme de Menthe.'" "Why? Isn't' that a liqueur?" the other two wanted to know. "Yep, it is," said the woman, continuing, "yeah, you betcha!"