Son in the Outhouse

A man was heading to England and his next-door neighbor Mrs. Dunn had just sent her son Olmos off to England a week ago. He hadn't called since he was there, so she asked the man to get him to call her. She knew he was staying in a big white house so she told him that. When he arrived in England, the man asked the first person he saw for the big white house. Thinking he meant the outhouse, the Brit said, ''It is in the middle of the park.'' So the man went to the park and saw a white house in the center. He knocked on the door and said, ''Are you Olmos Dunn?'' A voice came from inside, ''Yeah, I just have to find the toilet paper.''

Indians In America

Q: Why were the Indians here first in America?
A: They had Reservations.

Ireland Radio Contest

A Cork, Ireland radio station was holding an on-air contest to see who could come up with the best word not in a dictionary that would still make sense in a sentence. One of the first callers used the word G-O-A-N, pronounced "go-an." "Okay, caller. How would you use this in a sentence?" "Go-an. Goan fuck yerself!" Concerned about it being a family show, the DJ quickly hung up on the man. After fielding a bunch more unsuccessful calls, another caller calls up with the word S-M-E-E, pronounced "smee." "Okay, caller. How would you use this in a sentence?" "Smee again. Goan fuck yerself!"