In The Bag

A "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, stood in line at the customs counter. While making idle chatter, the customs official thought it odd that the golfer didn't know what a handicap was. The officer then asked the tourist to demonstrate his swing. He did - backwards. A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag.

Break Time

Q: The female janitor at my building asked if I would chill and smoke some weed with her
A: I said no. I can't deal with high maintenance women

Old Farmers

Old farmers never die, they just spade away