Green and Eats Nuts

Q: What's green and eats nuts?
A: Syphilis.

Yo Mama - Getaway Rope

Yo mama so nasty, her crabs use her tampon string as a getaway rope.

Catch Another Ride

There were two little crabs who met in Florida every year. One year when they arrived, one little crab was shivering terribly. The other crab asked why and he said, "I got a ride here on a man's mustache. He drove so fast, I was freezing."
"Well," the other crab said, "why don't you hide up a lady's skirt next year. Then you won't be as cold." The little crab said, "Hey, that isn't a bad idea." A year later, the two crabs met at the same place, and the one little crab was shivering very badly again. The other crab asked if he had taken his advice and he said, "Yeah, I went and hid up a lady's skirt, but when I woke up in the morning I was on that's guy's mustache again!"