Looking For A Name

The new mother got out of bed for the first time since her childbirth dressed in her robe and walked down the hospital hallway to the nurses desk where she asked for a phone book. "What are you doing out here! You should be in your room resting," the nurse exclaimed. "I want to search through the phone book for a name for my baby," the new mother replied. "You don't have to do that here. The hospital furnished a booklet to all new mothers to assist them in picking a first name for their baby." "You don't understand," the woman said and frowned. "My baby already has a FIRST name!"

Pregnancy Question

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Delivery Room

Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.