The Sick Coffin

A funeral procession was winding it's way to the cemetery on top of the hill outside town, when the hearse hit a bump.  The coffin was bumped loose, fell out onto the road and began sliding back toward town down a steep hill. It slid faster and faster. Finally, it reached the town and was skidding its way down Main St. when suddenly, at one intersection, the coffin hit a curb, flew onto the sidewalk, smashed through the front glass window of the pharmacy, and slammed up against the prescription counter.  The lid popped off, the corpse sat up and said, "You got anything to stop this coffin?"

New Medication

Have you heard about the new medication that both an aphrodisiac and laxative? It's called "Easy Cum, Easy Go".

The Rabid Neighbor!

A neighbor of mine was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him scribbling furiously on a notepad. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about writing a will. He said, "Will, will,... WHAT WILL? I'm making a list of people I'm gonna bite!!"