New Medication

Have you heard about the new medication that both an aphrodisiac and laxative? It's called "Easy Cum, Easy Go".

The Rabid Neighbor!

A neighbor of mine was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him scribbling furiously on a notepad. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about writing a will. He said, "Will, will,... WHAT WILL? I'm making a list of people I'm gonna bite!!"

Wife to the Hospital

This woman is rushed to the hospital in critical condition. Her husband waits patiently in the waiting room. After a few minutes, the doctor comes out and asks her assistant for a wrench, which understandably concerns the husband. Then, after a couple more moments, the doctor re-enters the room this time asking for a screwdriver. The man grows worried and begins to pace in circles. Then, a little later, the doctor bursts through the doors screaming for a hammer, at that, the husband, in a state of frenzied terror, runs up to the surgeon and asks, ''Doctor, what the heck is wrong with my wife?'' "I don't know," replies the flustered doctor, "I can't get my damn bag open."