New Employee Training

A young man got a new job running the register at a store. The old store owner said he would teach him how to up-sell. "Watch how I do it," he said to the new hire. As a customer put a bag of grass seed on the counter, the old-timer said to him, "When you plant those seeds and the grass starts growing, you're going to need a new lawnmower to cut the grass." "You know," said the man, "I do need a new mower. Sure, I'll take one." After the customer left, the new kid said, "I think I see what you mean. Let me handle this next one." A customer stepped up to the counter and set down a box of tampons. The young salesman said, "You know, you should get you a new lawnmower to go with that." The man asked the young salesman, "What are you talking about?" "It looks like your weekend's shot so you might as well cut the grass."

The Doctor Said to the Housewife

The doctor said to the housewife, "I've got good news and I've got bad news.The good news is you don't have PMS. The bad news is...you're a bitch!"

Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love

Q: What do Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love have in common?
A: They both shower after three periods!