Gay Men's Shower

Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night, and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower. Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower. When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall. He wailed to Tom, ''I can't believe you! We just finish making love and you come in here and jack-off!!'' Paul looks at the wall and says ''What are you talking about? I wasn't jacking-off, I farted!!!"

Types of Farts

ART FART = it's such a beauty you want to immortalize it on canvas.
ARROGANT FART = When you think your farts don't stink.
ASSUALT FART = A sudden attack that shoots virtual flames out your arse.
TIRE FART = You can't control the blow out.
BEER FARTS = These come out of every 'can' and smell like warm beer.
JAIL FART = Been doing time inside you for quite awhile, and finally makes its great escape.
DONKEY FART = Your ass is the only one that can do it.
GHOST FART = You can't hear it, you can't see it, and you can't smell it.
HOME ALONE FART = When you're home alone and a great one is wasted on no one.
SHOE FART = When you bend over to tie your shoe laces and one escapes.
TANK FART = When you refer to your farts as 'gas'.
OLD FART = You know how old it is by how bad it smells.
BRAIN FART = You need to fart, but nothing comes out.
ALZHEIMER FART = A confused fart that heads the wrong way, and becomes a burp.
NOT-ME FART = When you drop a bomb in a crowded elevator, turn around to the person behind you and give a disgusted look and whisper "PIG!"
U.F.O. FART = When someone farts in crowded room, label it as a "Unidentified Foul Odor".

Mix Beans and Onions

Q: What do you get when you mix beans and onions?
A: Tear gas.