Medical Miracles

There's more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040 there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

I Have Bad News

The doctor tells his patient: "Well I have good news and bad news..." The patient says, "Lay it on me Doc. What's the bad news?" "You have Alzheimer's disease." "Good heavens! What's the good news?" "You can go home and forget about it!"

Memory Problems

Patient: "Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember anything!"
Doctor: "Since when did you have this problem?"
Patient: "What problem?
Doctor: "Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory?"
Patient: "What pills?"