Tampons and Cigarettes

A man walks into a pharmacy and tells the salesgirl that he's looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him to the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?" "You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, I figure, if I have to roll my own, so does she."

Bad News First

"Okay doctor, give me the bad news first." "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." "Oh. Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

Anti Nanny

Q: What do you call a nanny who is an anti-vaxxer?
A: Mrs. DoubtPfizer