Breaking the Pregnancy News

A man was in the waiting room at the hospital, pacing the floor. His wife was inside having their first child. After a while the doctor came out to talk to the nervous father. "Well, your baby is here. It's a boy. And guess what? He can fly!" The doctor let go of the baby and it hit the floor with a SMACK. The father was irritated. The doctor calmed him down, "Don't worry, I'm a doctor. I know what I'm doing. Your baby really can fly. Watch." Again, the doctor picked up the baby, and this time tossed it across the room. Again, the baby hit the floor with a hard SMACK. The father was just about ready to kill the doctor.
"You idiot! You're going to kill my baby!" "Don't worry. He just needs to be scared a little." So the doctor took the baby and held it out the third story window. The doctor let go of the baby and it hit the sidewalk below with a sickening SPLAT. The father was beside himself with anger. "You son-of-a-bitch! I'm gonna kill you!" "Hey, don't worry! I'm just joking with you. Your baby was stillborn."

A Prostitute Goes To The Hospital...

A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague who is about to have a heart transplant. She's worried about the friend so she says to the doctor "I'm worried about my friend doc, what if her body rejects the organ?" The doctor responds "Well she's 36 years old and healthy. How long has she been in business?" She answers "she's been working since she was 19 years old but what does that have to do with anything?" He tells her "Well she's been working 17 years and hasn't rejected an organ yet!"

New Psychiatric Sign

Q: What sign do you find on the door to the psychiatric ward?
A: "Please do not disturb further."