Aid At An Accident

At the scene of a terrible road accident, a guy is laying sprawled out on the road, seemingly stone dead. The rescue workers are all around him, but can do nothing to resuscitate him. Suddenly, a young woman in a short miniskirt forces her way through the crowd. "Let me at him, I can help him," she says. "What can you do?" ask the rescue people. "We've tried everything to revive him, and it's too late." "I can," says the woman. "Stand back!" And she promptly takes off her panties, and crouches with her crotch over the man's face. Suddenly, the man coughs, splutters, and sits up. "What did you do?" ask the rescue people, amazed. The woman says, "Blood Transfusion."

Catch Another Ride

There were two little crabs who met in Florida every year. One year when they arrived, one little crab was shivering terribly. The other crab asked why and he said, "I got a ride here on a man's mustache. He drove so fast, I was freezing."
"Well," the other crab said, "why don't you hide up a lady's skirt next year. Then you won't be as cold." The little crab said, "Hey, that isn't a bad idea." A year later, the two crabs met at the same place, and the one little crab was shivering very badly again. The other crab asked if he had taken his advice and he said, "Yeah, I went and hid up a lady's skirt, but when I woke up in the morning I was on that's guy's mustache again!"

Waiting Out the Rush

A doctor walks into a room full of patients at a mental institution, takes out a pen, and draws a door on the wall. He then tells all the patients that whoever wants to escape, should use that door. Immediately they all rush towards it, but of course cannot go through. However, one patient sits still in the back with a smile on his face. He has not moved at all. The doctor thinks he must be cured. He then asks the patient why he did not rush to the door, and the patient whispers, "They don't know that I'm the one who has the key."