2020 Review

1. The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.
2. I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.
3. 2019:  Stay away from negative people.  2020:  Stay away from positive people.
4. The world has turned upside down.  Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!
5. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog.  It was obvious she thought her dog understood her.  I came into my house and told my cat.  We laughed a lot.
6. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit.  Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
7. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?
8. This virus has done what no woman has been able to do.  Cancel sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!
9. I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him or her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!
10. I need to practice physical-distancing from the refrigerator
11. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard.  I’m getting tired of the Living Room.
12. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask and asking for money.

Name At Birth

A woman gave birth at a hospital and the doctor asked, "What will you name her?" The woman thought and said, "I think I'll name her Sarah!" The doctor said, "I'm sorry to inform you miss, but Sarah is not available. But you can try Sarah_2045 or 99_Sarah!"

Can You Read This

A young woman, two months pregnant, went to see her obstetrician. He was in a hurry to leave on an emergency call, so he asked her to quickly bare her stomach, then reached into his desk and took out a rubber stamp, which he pressed beside her navel. He then rushed off. At home, she and her husband tried to read the tiny words printed on her belly, but they were too small. They then found a magnifying glass and tried to read the words; the stamp read: "When your husband can read this without his glasses, it's time to get yourself to the hospital!"