Been Here Sooner

Two Christians have lived very good, and also very healthy lives. They die, and go to heaven. As they are walking along, marveling at the paradise around them, one turns to the other and says "Wow. I never knew heaven was going to be as good as this!" "Yeah," says the other. "And just think, if we hadn't eaten all that oat bran we could have got here ten years sooner."

Wood

Q: What kind of wood does not float?
A: Natalie Wood!

Moving on Up

This was a really, really big year for me. I got to go home for Thanksgiving and sit at the adults' table. That's 'cause, you know, somebody had to die for me to move up a plate.