The Pope and the Rams

What do the Pope and the Rams, both appearing in the St. Louis Trans World Dome, have in common?
They both feature 3 million people saying,  'Jesus Christ!'

Rabbi Stern Converts

Rabbi Stern rides his bike down the road, when a truck careens around the corner, out of control, and broadsides the Rabbi. Father Flannery watches this event unfold, and as he runs toward the Rabbi, he notices that Rabbi Stern first touches his forehead, then his stomach, then each shoulder. As Father Flannery reaches the Rabbi, he kneels and makes the sign of the cross himself. "Rabbi, I notice that you crossed yourself after getting up from the accident. It's a miracle, must be! Have you seen the light? Do you believe, man?" "Aw, heck no!" replied Rabbi Stern, "I was just checking." "Checking? Checking for what?" Rabbi Stern begins the ritual again, and follows each movement with: "Spectacles... Testicles... Wallet... Watch!"

The Pearly Gates Computer

A man arrives at the Pearly Gates and finds that St. Peter is not there, but a computer terminal is sitting next to the arch. He walks up to it and sees "Welcome to www.Heaven.com. Please enter your User ID and Password to continue." He doesn't have either, but underneath the fields is a small line reading: "Forgot your ID or Password? Click Here." So he does. Up pops a screen which reads, "Please enter at least two of the following, and your password and ID will be e-mailed to you." The fields include "Name," "Date of birth," "Date of death," and "Favorite Food." The man enters his name and date of birth, and clicks "Submit." Up pops another screen which reads, "We are sorry, we did not find a match in our database. Would you like to register?" So the man clicks the button marked "Yes." A long and detailed form appears on the screen, and the man spends some time filling it out. Then he clicks the "Submit" button.Now he is faced with a screen reading, "We are sorry, this service is temporarily unavailable; please try again later." There is a button marked "Back." He clicks it. A new page appears. It reads, "Welcome to www.Purgatory.com. Please enter your User ID and Password to continue..."