Rejected Childrens Book Titles

1. Juggling Knives is Easy
2. Where to Find the toys in the Oven
3. Where Mommy & Daddy Hide Neat Things
4. Kick, Scream, and Cry to Get What You Want
5. "Whatcha' Doin'" the Wonderful Phrase
6. 101 Games to Play in the Road
7. The Indoor Pool is a Big Potty and the Diving board is the Flusher
8. Homemade Fireworks using a Bathtub, a Blow-dryer and a Fork
9. POP, goes the Hamster and other fun Microwave Games
10. Arthur Gets Hunted
11. Clifford and the Big and Yellow Semi
12. Monsters Killed Grandpa
13. The hit sequel to "Elvis is your real dad" "Mrs. Clause is your real Mom"
14. Chicken Poop for the Kid Soul
15. All Guns Squirt Water
16. When The Garbage Truck Came to Sesame Street
17. How Fun it is to Tie a Squirrel to a Kite
18. You Can Get Sucked Down the Drain
19. How to Make Sushi with Ordinary Goldfish
20. 101 recipies to make with Dog
21. If its Storming out the Best Place to keep shelter is under a tree
22. The New Boy is Bad
23. Your Nightmares are real
24. The Time When Elmer REALLY got Bugs
25. Scooby Doo Gets Rabbis
26. The Lion, the Steak, and the Blender
27. The Little Kitten that was too Curious.....
28. The Boy who was so Stupid that his Dad put him up for Adoption
29. Mickey Mouse and the Mouse Trap
30. Chuck E. Cheese and Cheddar get a Flamethrower
31. Grampa Gets A Casket
32. Dad's New Wife Robert
33. The Magical World Inside The Abandoned Refrigerator

Carrie Fisher

Carrie Fisher is in heaven and she goes into God's office. "I've been up here for a few days, and I don't have a halo yet. George Michael has one, why don't I?"
God explains that there is a back order, but since he loved her in "Star Wars" he will bump her on the list.
So she gets her halo and she's happy for a few days. Then goes back into God's office angry as hell.
"You know, I ran into Dale Earnhardt today. Nice guy, but his halo is 3 times the size if mine. I was Princess Leia, and all he did was drive a car and turn left."
God interrupts her and tells her "That's not a halo it's a steering wheel."

Men Go To Heaven

There are 3 guys who get a visit from an angel. The angel says, "I'm giving you a heads up. You are going to die and then come back with a girl. How good you are in heaven determines how beautiful she'll be." So the first guy comes back and is with a really ugly girl. The most ugly you have probably seen. Then, the second guy comes back and is with an even uglier girl. But, when the third guy comes back he is with the most beautiful girl you ever did see. The first 2 guys look at each other saying, "Wow, he must have been very good." Then the woman shouts, "I GOT STUCK WITH HIM?"