The Redneck Unabomber Connection

Q: What does a redneck girl and the Unabomber have in common?
A: They've both been fingered by their brothers.

Beyond The Grave E-mail

A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami.

The e-mail reads:

Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.

OLD THINGS.

OLD WANTS never die, they become needs.
OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just run out of time.
OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just unwind.
OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just wind down.
OLD WEATHERMEN never die, they reign forever.
OLD WHITE WATER RAFTERS never die, they just get disgorged.
OLD WOOL COATS never die, they just become mothballed.
OLD WRESTLERS never die, they just lose their grip.
OLD YACHTSMEN never die, they just keel over.
WALT DISNEY didn't die, he's in suspended animation.
There is no conclusive evidence about what happens to old skeptics, -- but their future is doubtful.