The Rabid Neighbor!

A neighbor of mine was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him scribbling furiously on a notepad. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about writing a will. He said, "Will, will,... WHAT WILL? I'm making a list of people I'm gonna bite!!"

The Vows

When Ken a married man for 50 years died, his wife Edie was devastated. A couple of months later, Edie also died. Once in heaven, Edie anxiously looked for Ken. Suddenly, behind a cloud, she could clearly see him with another woman. She ran towards him, calling his name: “Ken. Darling… Ken” Ken said: “Hold your horses woman, and don’t ‘darling’ me. The deal was very clear… “Until death do us part”.

West Virginia Virgin

Q: How can you tell if a West Virginia girl is a virgin?
A: If she can run faster that her brothers.