Clinton's Secret Box

Back when Bill Clinton and Hillary got married Bill told her, "There's one thing I want you to know. There's a box under my bed, and I don't want you to look in it until I die." Hillary agreed to this but, over the years, the curiosity got the better of her, and she finally looked in it.  She found three beer cans and 1.5 million dollars in cash. When she asked Bill what the beer cans were for, he replied, "Well, those are for all the times I've cheated on you." Hillary said, "Well, that's not bad after all these years, you being a politician, and traveling and all." She was about to leave, but then she said, "Hey, Bill, what about the 1.5 million dollars?" Bill replied, "That's for all the times the box got full and I had to cash the cans in."

Harry Potter Do-Over

Q: Why did Harry Potter have to repeat his first year at Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft?
A: Because he couldn't spell.

Star Phone

Q: Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone?
A: Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.