Tiger Drives

The worst part about Tiger Wood's driving
is that it's probably going to add to his handicap.

Equation of Earnings

The Equation:
Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof has been developed that explains why this is true:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money. As every engineer knows, Work = Power * Time, Since Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money, we have: Work = Knowledge * Money. Solving for Money, we get: Work*M Knowledge. Thus, as Knowledge decreases, Money increases, regardless of how much Work is done. Conclusion: The Less you Know, the More you Make.
Note: It has been speculated that the reason why Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard's math program was because he stumbled upon this proof as an undergraduate, and dedicated the rest of his career to the pursuit of ignorance.

Tough Jobs

On Tough Jobs that Involve Letters: "It's not as easy as it looks, being on all the time. I mean, what happens if I'm in a bad mood?"
-- Vanna White, 'Wheel of Fortune' co-star