Tough Jobs

On Tough Jobs that Involve Letters: "It's not as easy as it looks, being on all the time. I mean, what happens if I'm in a bad mood?"
-- Vanna White, 'Wheel of Fortune' co-star

Downhill Skis

Did you hear about the new downhill racing skis the ski resorts are selling this year?
They are called Lewin-skis. They are for people who like to go down.

Eminem's Divorce

• That comment about Elton being "twice the woman" she ever was.
• Caught Eminem fantasizing about killing other women.
• Sick of hiding her love for the Insane Clown Posse.
• Sure, he talks and raps like a black man, but when he takes down his pants...
• Recently overtaken by a strange and unfamiliar compulsion to live past the age of 35.
• I mean come on, people... the dude lost to Steely Dan.
• Thanks to a recent surgery, her head's no longer implanted deep within her own rectum.
  
  And The Top Reason Eminem's Wife Filed For Divorce. . .
• Sick of dating a rich, famous, abusive bastard. Would like to try a poor, unknown abusive bastard for a change.