Virginia Pipeline

Three college students were rapping about who they'd like to be cast off on a desert with. The first one opted for Cindy Crawford. The next one chose Pamela Anderson. The third man chose Virginia Pipeline. "Never heard of her," his companions protested, "Who is she?"
"Why she's just the greatest Italian gal of all, making the headlines in the newspaper," replied the third man. "See, here it is on page one: FIVE DIE LAYING VIRGINIA PIPELINE"

Asked Me Out

"Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room." - Phyllis Diller

Hooters

After a long day on the golf course, I stopped in at Hooters to see some friends and have some hot wings and ice tea. After being there for a while, one of my friends asked me which waitress I would like to be stuck in an elevator with.
I told him, "The one who knows how to fix elevators. I'm old, I'm tired, and I pee a lot."