Life Quotes

To solve the human equation, we need to add love, subtract hate, multiply good, and divide between truth and error. – Janet Coleman
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. – Andy Rooney
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. – George Carlin
If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. – Paul Beatty
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. – Joey Adams

Tickle-Me Elmo

Q: What did Michael Jackson call his "Tickle-me Elmo" doll?
A: Bait.

Hannibal Lector Food

Q: What does Hannibal Lector say about Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera?
A: Mmm...pop-tarts