Tyson's Excuses!

The top 10 reasons for Mike Tyson biting Evander Holyfield's ear:

1. Got a little carried away after seeing "Face/Off".
2. Really wanted to win first prize on "America's Funniest Home Videos".
3. Like this doesn't happen every year in the Masters.
4. Whenever Moe bites Curly's ear, it's hilarious!
5. Has to do this kind of thing to compensate for the fact that he talks like Melanie Griffith.
6. I guess you've never heard of a little thing called "strategy".
7. Ears are tasty.
8. It was self-defense -- he wouldn't stop punching me!
9. "Disqualified" sounds better than "got his ass kicked all over the ring".
10. He ran out of gum.

The Tiger Woods Story via the Oscars

The Tiger Woods short story using every nominated film of the 2010 Oscars. "We all thought Tiger Woods was a Serious Man. Then, last November he really screwed Up. Those Inglorious Basterds all came forward, not from District 9, but from the red light district. Tiger got caught from The Blind Side with his pants down. His Precious world then entered The Hurt Locker. He received An Education in Mississippi on Sex Addiction where he was told even as an Avatar, it’s still considered Cheating! After all this, his golf career is Up in the Air."

OJ to Nicole

Q: What did OJ say to Nicole just before he killed her?
A: Your waiter will be right with you!