Milk Bath

A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful.   She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake.  He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons.  I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again." 
The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"
Wait for it ...
The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits ... I can splash it on my eyes!"

Blonde Sunday

Q: Why did the blonde think it was Sunday?
A: Because the sun was out.

A Blonds Thanksgiving

|It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went. "Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" said the daughter. "Did it not taste good?" her mother asked. "I don't know," the blonde said. "It wouldn't sit still!"