The Mysterious Blob

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all head home from work at the same time and get on the elevator. The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says, " OOOOOhhh that looks like semen." She reaches out and touches the blob with her fingers and says, "It feels like semen." 
The redhead then reaches out and touches it with her fingers, smells it, and says, "It smells like semen."
The blonde reaches out and touches it with her fingers, puts her fingers in her mouth and tastes it and says, "It sure doesn't taste like anyone in THIS building."

Blonde Sleepwalking

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been sleepwalking?
A: When you look in the refrigerator and there's lipstick all over the pickles.

A New Tearful Bride

A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him." "Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding." "No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!" "Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!" says her mom. "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars." "No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket." "Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?" "Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said - 'Prepare from a frozen state,' so I flew to Alaska!"