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Bar Jokes - Drunk Jokes
A Drunk Scottsman
There was a Scotsman and he was too drunk to walk home from the bar. He decides to lay down a park bench and sleep. Tomorrow he would walk home after he was sober. In the morning two little girls are walking by to go to school when they see he is wearing his kilt. One of the little girls get curious and decide to lift up his kilt. They see he's not wearing anything under his kilt so one of the little girls takes a blue ribbon out of her hair and ties it around his thing in a nice little bow. They put his kilt back down and go to school. A little while after the man wakes up and natures calling. He finds the nearest bush, lifts up his kilt and looks down. He says in his Sottish accent, "I don't know where ya been but ya won first prize."
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Anhueser Busch
A drunk blonde walks into a bar, the bartender asks her what she would like, and she replies, "Gimme a beer." The bartender then asks, "Anheuser-Busch?" To which she replies, "Fine thanks, and how's your cock?"
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Two Olives
Two olives were sitting at a bar having a couple martinis, when all of a sudden, one olive falls off his chair and hits the ground. The other olive looks down at him and says, "Oh man, are you okay?" The olive looks up at him and says, " Yes, Ol-live."
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