Bar Jokes

I Will

A man walks into a bar with his pet crocodile, the bartender screams and demands he get the man eating creature out of there! The man tries to calm the bartender down and says he is very well trained. To prove it the man whipped out his cock and put it in the crocodile's mouth, then he hit the crocodile over the head and after a few good smacks he pulls it out and shows the bar tender, "Look, no marks." The bartender is still unsure so the man asks "Would anyone else like to try?" The bar is quiet and a few minutes later a blonde in the corner stands up and says "I will but don't smack me on the head!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Want to Dance?

A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night. He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose. He was very self conscious about his eye but got up the nerve to ask her for a dance. "Would you like to dance with me?" he asked. She replied "Would I!", and he sneered and told her, "BIG NOSE!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Judge Has Some Fun

A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and thundered "It is the sentence of this court that you be taken from here to a place of execution and there hanged by the neck until DEAD." The drunk promptly fainted. The court bailiff commenced to reviving the man, and looked up at the judge, at which time the judge shrugged and responded "I've always wanted to do that."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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