Bar Jokes

Bar Chat

A bored guy sat in the bar and looking to strike up a conversation. He turns to bartender and says, "Hey, about those Democrats in the Congress ..."
"Look pal, I don't allow talk about politics in my bar!" interrupted the bartender.
A few minutes later the guy tried again, "People say about the Pope.."
"NO religion talk, either," the bartender cuts in.
One more try to break the boredom, "I thought the Yankees would..."
"NO sports talk. That's how fights start in bars!" the barman said.
"Look, how about sex. Can I talk to you about sex?"
"Sure, that we can talk about," replies the barkeep.
"Great. Go screw yourself."

Categories: Bar Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Twisted Logic

An alcoholic is just someone who is having a medicinal drink for a terminal illness
 

Categories: Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Suicide Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Going to Die Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Funny Thoughts
Copyright © 2014 - Kiel Phillips - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: KielPhillips

Four Drinks

A well dressed gentlemen enters the bar of a five star restaurant, sits at the bar and orders four very expensive drinks. The bartender serves them on a silver tray, setting all four in front of the patron. The man then consumes all four drinks in a matter of seconds. The bartender comments, "Wow, you sure must have a problem."
"If you had what I had," the man replies, "you'd drink them fast, too."
Leaning over, the sympathetic bartender asks, "What do you have?"
"Fifty cents," the man answers.

Categories: Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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