Man In Pub

A man walks into a pub with a neck brace around his neck. He asks for a pint. The bartender gives him one. Then the man asks, "Who's in the lounge?" The bartender replies. "15 people playing darts." The man says, "Get them a pint too." Then he asks, "Who's upstairs?" The bartender replies, "150 people at the disco." The man says, "Get them a drink too." The bartender says, "That will be $328 please." The man says, "Sorry but I haven't got that much money on me." The bartender says, "If you were at the pub a mile from here, they would of broke your neck." The man says, "I've all ready been there."

Flying Pill

A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar. As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him. The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, "You sure are mean when you're drunk, Superman."

Frat Boy Cab Ride

A frat boy gets into the back of a cab, and asks the cabbie, "Do you have enough room up there for a Pizza and a six pack of Beer?" The cabbie says, "Sure." So the frat boy leans forward and throws-up.