Geologist's Come-All-Ye

The Geologist's Come-All-Ye (a folksong) by Brenna Lorenz
Come all ye lads and you will hear About the life that we love dear, Refrain: With our diddle-air-re-oh, falling rock away, knock it down, Fall-di-knock-a-rock-away, me laddie-oh! Geologists all bold and strong, We are the subject of this song. We get up with the rising sun And map until the day is done. We walk two hundred miles a day, And study rocks along the way. We fight our way through brush and trees And slog through bog up to our knees. When flies are thick, then we don't walk, They carry us from rock to rock. We swing our hammers with a whack, Take home an outcrop on our backs. Nine hundred pounds of rock or more Is just an average daily score. If we run out of food to eat There's always rock beneath our feet. There's nothing quite like granite stew 'Though graptolites are some good, too. In the evening to the clubs we flock, To drink Dominion and Old Stock. Here's to your health and our health, too, May your life prove as good to you, As our... 

Send in the Clowns Biology

To the tune of "Send in the Clowns"
So this is it, A few bases to go, I've tried and I've tried but the techniques's so slow. I've poured my gels, I've run quite a few. Full of bubbles, they leaked and why I never knew. But where are the clones? I've got to have clones, The end is so near. Is my broth rich? Does it look clear? Contamination is something I always fear. Are my plaques blue? They shouldnt be, No DNA left I'm down on my knees, So give me some clones? I've got to have clones, The end is so near. I've had bad preps, There've been quite a few, Ive tried all brands of PEG, fresh buffers, but nothing would do. And though they say, Solutions will keep, In my hands they last no more than a week. So send me some clones? I've got to have clones, The end is so near. I've read my gels, My eyes are quite sore, There's still sequence missing, of this I am sure. But there it is!! Finally done. I've conquered this fragment and now I have won. Whats's this I hear? A voice from the door. My supervisor wants 10kb more! So give me some clones, I've got to have clones, Or I'll be here all year! 

Celsium's Strange

Cesium's Strange (Tune, People are strange - The Doors)
Cesium's strange, when you're a stranger Consummate danger, ready to blow. Water is wicked, wet and unwanted, Folks are unfriendly, when you glow. Don't take it out in the rain. You're insane! You're insane! Don't you remember the pain? You're insane! You're insane! You're insane - Cesium's strange, pregnant with danger, Hand the next stranger a kilo or two. Pour on the water, lamb at the slaughter, Bathe in the light that is blue, sky-blue! Don't take it out in the rain. You're insane! You're insane! You'll always remember the pain. You're insane! You're insane! You're insane