Bagpipe Band At The Door

Q: How do you know if a bagpipe band is at your front door?
A: No one knows when to come in.

Chainsaw and Bari-sax

Q:  How do you make a chainsaw sound like a bari-sax?
A:  Add vibrato.

A Flute's Perfect Pitch

Q: What is perfect pitch on a flute?
A: When it misses the rim of the toilet as you throw it in.