Two Flutes

Q: What's the definition of a minor second?
A: Two flutes playing a unison.

Away in a Test Tube

Away in a Test Tube (Melody: "Away in a Manger")
Away in a test tube My plague cultures grow On nutrient agar Mankind's greatest foe It's easy to grow them If one does it right At thirty-five Celsius All day and all night Once they are ready You can let them go To sicken the masses With pus-filled buboes.

Electric Orchestra

Q: Did you hear about the orchestra that got electrocuted?
A: Some blame it on the conductor.